"Sanford said the trip was legitimate but he put the agency in an awkward spot “based on what I did in terms of eating dinner down there."

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I was actually looking for the quote where Sanford compares himself to King David, but this was funnier out of context, and every quote I’ve found so far has been paraphrased anyway.

Nevertheless a few more fun facts about King David, post-affair:

One of his sons (Amnon) raped his half-sister (Tamar), and was ordered murdered by yet another son (Absalom), who subsequently rebelled against dad (David/Sanford) in the “trying to overthrow the government” sense. David had at one point left ten concubines lying around the house, and Absalom decided to have sex with them all in front of the entire population as a display of his prowess.

And they say the internet is corrupting youth.

Anyway, at some point during the rebellion, there was a battle, and Absalom got his hair caught in a tree, which leads one to believe he had a mighty ‘fro or perhaps some amazing dreads, and one of David’s generals killed him with a spear. The end.

Well, not quite the end—Bathsheba’s (that’s the Argentinean mistress in our version) son (the one who didn’t die, which is another story), Solomon, became king and was known for being wise and having lots of wives, and for writing the sexy-sex book of the Bible.

The moral of the story is: keep your eye on South Carolina politics for the next several years, because things could get way more interesting than just an Argentinean affair.