In the “things to do in life” list or bucket list or whatever the hell they’re calling ‘em these days, “sing the national anthem at a sporting event” is a moderately popular choice, so when Kerry dropped a “does anyone want to sing for Roller Derby?” post on Twitter last week I was all over it.
Rule number one of singing the national anthem: No matter how many times you’ve sung the national anthem in the crowd before a sporting event, always bring the lyrics with you. Unless you want to look like an idiot.
Rules 2-10 are kinda general public singing things: Show up early, don’t eat a half-gallon if ice cream beforehand, try to be mostly sober, the national anthem is not “America The Beautiful” anywhere and only “O Canada” if the Expos or Blue Jays are playing, and the Expos don’t exist anymore, practice your starting pitch beforehand so that you don’t end up outside of your comfortable range, try to have an empty bladder, talk to everyone you’re supposed to talk to so you’re all on the same page about how it’s going down, try to make sure you’re not following a popular rap artist, don’t embellish the song.
All of which I followed perfectly. Well, except for rule #9, which happened when Al Kapone sang “Whoop That Trick” prior to the Memphis team introductions, and prior to the national anthem.
Anyway, I sang all the notes and words, only shook a little, and now I can say that Al Kapone opened for me.
