Oh, it’s WAY better than that. An experience with one of Tesla’s inventions made Twain NEARLY SHIT HIS PANTS. From a Tesla biography:
This contraption, he explained, “consists of a platform supported on elastic cushions that are ade to oscillate by means of compressed air. One day, I stepped on the platform and the vibrations imparted were transmitted to my body….Evidently, these isochronous rapid oscillations stimulated powerfully the peristaltic movements which propel the food-stuffs through the alimentary channels.”
“You mean, it’ll make me regular?” Twain inquired.
“Precisely, and without the use of elixirs, specific remedies or internal applications whatever.”
Without further ado, Twain stepped aboard as Tesla tried to stop his assistants from chuckling. As Twain had been so enthusiastic, Tesla neglected to inform him that peristaltic action is induced almost immediately.
“Suddenly, Twain felt an unspeakable and pressing necessity which had to be promptly satisfied,” Tesla told the Johnsons the next day to their tearful glee, for he had to jump off the platform and find his way swiftly to the lavatory.
“I think I’ll start with the electrotheraphy machines,” Twain said upon his return. ”Wouldn’t want those widows to get too healthy all at one shot.”