Cwabs!

"Posted from five miles from that site"? You mean you're EXACTLY ON THAT SITE! CWABS DID THE ARSON WAKE UP SHEEPLE

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 14:01:51 -0500

I TOTALLY have an airtight alibi! At the time of the arson, I was dressed as Hitler in a choir robe, trying to ad-lib bits about “restoring honor to America” and “turning the country back to Jesus.”

Okay, maybe that isn’t such a good alibi. In any case, the guy with the elephant trunk can totally vouch for me.

Dear overweight man on the motorized scooter in Costco, with the oxygen canister, breathing tube, and cigar,

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 15:54:01 -0500

You are America—a string of poor life choices, coupled with a steadfast refusal to change a damn thing about them if it means getting inconvenienced in the least.

Yesterday marked closing night for The Imaginary Invalid, and...

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 11:27:00 -0500

Yesterday marked closing night for The Imaginary Invalid, and the end of the first week of rehearsals for Jekyll & Hyde. I recorded a bit of Hyde’s big Act I song, just to show off our chorus at work.

A few notes:

The clip’s about a minute long—I start where the chorus comes in, and we didn’t get to the big finish (EVERY song in J&H has a big finish) on this try.
I set the iPhone mic behind the chorus, and I’m standing ten feet behind that. Otherwise it would have been all a whole bunch of people singing AHHHHH and me barely audible singing something unintelligible. It’s still unintelligible, but we’ve got time to fix that.
Yeah, we’re totally clipping out the mic—I’m singing as loudly as I can without blowing a vocal chord to compete with the choirs of angels, and I’m sure that as individuals they’re trying to hear themselves over me.
You don’t normally notice the choral work on this number on the cast album because of the orchestration. It’s kinda cool to hear the part that you’d otherwise overlook (overhear?) as part of the rehearsal process.
I’m not too pitchy. On a couple of notes I sound like I have a head cold, though.

Also, my computer’s only starting up in safe mode at the moment (stupid video card). Can someone tell me if the thing actually plays?

The last show means it’s the last time I’ll wear my clown nose, thigh highs, and Hitler...

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 19:30:52 -0500

The last show means it’s the last time I’ll wear my clown nose, thigh highs, and Hitler mustache.

On stage, anyway.

Went to the Chihuly Nights exhibit at Cheekwood. Everyone there...

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 20:03:33 -0500

Went to the Chihuly Nights exhibit at Cheekwood. Everyone there was taking pictures of the sculpture instead of appreciating it for its artistic value.

Including me, apparently.

Hey look! I get one scene off in a two and a half hour show!

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 08:33:19 -0500

Hey look! I get one scene off in a two and a half hour show!

Also, the bandage looks like a lump on my arm.

Mon, 23 Aug 2010 13:30:24 -0500

For the first time ever, my blood donation involved actual pain—the nurse couldn’t find a vein, and dug around inside my arm with an iodine-smeared needle until she got it, while my hand turned purple from the blood pressure cuff.

You’d think afterwards the cookies would be extra delicious, but they tasted like soreness and bruising. I hope the victim of a polar bear mauling slated to receive my blood appreciates it.

Yup, Scrabble’s excited about tits.

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 14:17:22 -0500

Yup, Scrabble’s excited about tits.

Reviews are in!

Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:33:50 -0500

The Nashville Scene’s take is decidedly mixed (it’s the second review on the page), but Broadway World is almost effusive in its praise.

There go the next two months.

Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:41:20 -0500

At six this morning, I got an email that read (in part) as follows:

Thank you for participating in auditions for Circle Players’ “Jekyll and Hyde, the Musical.”

You will be notified by email OR phone within 24 hours regarding the casting decisions of the director and production team.

At eight this morning my phone chimed and I looked down to see that I’d missed a call, which Google Voice transcribed as follows:

Yeah. Randal, this is Denmark Director Jeff, I give me a call at 473485, I’d appreciate it. I am in and out of meetings all day so I catch my voicemail, and I’ll return your call as soon as possible in my car right now, so I’ll be in my car for about a half an hour or so. Robin work. So gimme a call back. Thanks.

One thing about auditioning for shows—the bigger your part is (as a rule) the sooner you know whether you’ve been cast. If you reject the offer, the production team can choose someone else from the auditionees to play that part. Getting a phone call at 8am the day after auditions, a mere two hours after the notification email, was a positive sign.

Needless to say, I dashed off to somewhere where I actually got a cell signal and called back immediately—

—and all those years of developing a winning scowl have finally paid off as I’ll be playing the title character in October. Exclamation point.

Last night I mentioned to a friend that my audition piece had...

Tue, 17 Aug 2010 13:29:29 -0500

Last night I mentioned to a friend that my audition piece had been “Agony” from Into The Woods, and she remembered that the actor who’d orignally played Rapunzel’s prince ALSO originated the role of Henry Jekyll in Jekyll & Hyde (I had not known this), but was probably best known by people of a certain age for something else entirely.

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,850 for "if you can't sing well sing loud"

Mon, 16 Aug 2010 11:21:09 -0500

When I moved to Nashville, my theatrical friends told me that the quality of the vocal competition would increase significantly—not that being able to tear up a song ever got me a part in Memphis, but in a city where the music industry is actually an industry, there’s a sizable contingent of folks who dream of becoming the next Carrie Underwood or Ke$ha or Garth Brooks. It’s telling that a few weeks ago the local Groupon was for vocal coaching sessions with somebody who’d worked with somebody famous.

Last night I went to auditions for Jekyll & Hyde, a play better known for its stunt casting (Sebastian Bach, David Hasselhoff) and hairpieces than for its musical or emotional heft (although it was composed by Leslie Bricusse, who boasts a number or certifiably awesome songs). There I discovered that my friends were right. Every single person at the audition, without exception, had impressive singing ability—although some of them were clearly used to singing more in front of a microphone than in an auditorium, and some of them broke the first rule of auditioning: Don’t sing anything from Les Miserables.

Fortunately, I’d picked an easy song, the dance audition was within my capablities (for once—they usually make dance auditions harder than anything in the actual show), my glands decided to squirt a good dose of adrenaline into my system for the final sing-off (having fight-or-flight endorphines in your system is remarkably useful when you’re auditioning for a role of a guy who gets hopped up on brane drugs and changes into a monster), and I go back Tuesday for callbacks

Truisms

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 11:14:00 -0500

In Steve Martin’s memoir Born Standing Up, he mentions a time when Johnny Carson turned to him during a commercial and told him “you’ll use everything you ever knew.” Martin’s proof of this is his doing rope tricks that he learned as a teenager in amusement parks during ¡Three Amigos!

My proof of this is making fart noises by blowing into my hand backstage when someone onstage says “pull my finger” in The Imaginary Invalid.

When I auditioned to be in Molière’s The Imaginary...

Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:13:43 -0500

When I auditioned to be in Molière’s The Imaginary Invalid, I didn’t really think that meant one day I’d be sitting in the green room in a Hitler mustache and thigh-highs.

I guess it could be worse.

Current status: Thinking these costumes would have made the...

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 19:13:53 -0500

Current status:

Thinking these costumes would have made the orgy scenes in Eyes Wide Shut so much more entertaining.

"Shooting 18 over par is not fun."

Mon, 09 Aug 2010 07:57:19 -0500

“Shooting 18 over par is not fun.”

- Tiger Woods, succintly explaining why I don’t play golf.

Pst—Tiger, if you think 18 over is no fun, you should try 28 over for a whole new level of hell.

A friend of mine concocted a delightful little cocktail she...

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 22:20:19 -0500

A friend of mine concocted a delightful little cocktail she calls a “pomadew:” 2 oz Vodka 2 oz pomegranate juice 6 oz Mountain Dew (I used diet Sundrop)

Assembled, it has a weird off color, but I’ve never been known for making my food purty. And it’s not my recipe anyway.

What it IS is tasty.

When an artist tells you that his medium is...

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 21:40:52 -0500

When an artist tells you that his medium is “crayon,” it may not mean what you think it means.

unicornery: Karaoke update! so far I did Reminiscing by the Little River Band & Paul Revere...

Sat, 07 Aug 2010 01:52:11 -0500

unicornery:

Karaoke update! so far I did Reminiscing by the Little River Band & Paul Revere with my bff Jess. Later we’re going to do Endless Love.

I just did “Darling Nikki” and called it a night.

Current status: I have the sudden urge to sing “Fool For...

Thu, 05 Aug 2010 19:05:24 -0500

Current status: I have the sudden urge to sing “Fool For Your Stockings.”