Cwabs!

Road trip!

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 11:07:59 -0600

Yesterday I rolled out of bed at 6, showered, made breakfast, fed the cats, hopped in the car, drove to St. Louis, bought some meats and pastries on The Hill, went to The Fox Theatre, watched the magnificent August: Osage County, had dinner at The Shaved Duck, drove back to Memphis, came home, and crashed. I suppose I could go into further detail, but let’s just say it was a pretty good day.

Unnecessary Blues

Thu, 04 Mar 2010 09:44:38 -0600

Lately I’ve been feeling slightly lost and disconnected, distant and locked away. I’m staying busy, generally, but it seems like even when I’m in a crowd of friends I’m uncommunicative and distracted, thinking about something else. It’s difficult to know if I’m having a minor crisis of existence, a touch of the ol’ seasonal affective disorder, or if I’m just lonely. It probably doesn’t help that my job gets me negative feedback from kids every single day, and discouragement from the top-level administration pretty regularly (it’s not specific to me—the culture of motivation is all stick and no carrot here).

Usually when I’m feeling like this it helps to shift focus away from myself, to do something constructive and community-based, or to try to help someone out—it’s hard to feel sorry for yourself when other folks are telling you thanks for being good and sharing what you’ve got (talent, money, or love), but this week especially many of those efforts have been thwarted by circumstance, and I’m feeling discouraged and unnecessary.

A few friends have been really good about reaching out, and keeping the lines of communication open, in spite of the fact that I’m not much fun to be around, for which I’m greatly appreciative.

I’m sure it’ll pass. It always has.

Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Wednesday: making all the...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 06:49:32 -0600

Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Wednesday: making all the wrinkles you can edition.

Man hints with Fancycwabs

Sat, 27 Feb 2010 09:50:32 -0600

I admit it. There’s a part of me that likes fixing things and opening pickle jars and working magic on automobiles and doing stereotypical male gender role stuff, even though there’s nothing distinctive about the Y chromosome that makes me particularly good at those things. The number of situations where I can calmly use my skill set to help other folks is pretty limited, of course, but yesterday I got the chance when a friend mentioned that her mechanic had grievously overtightened the lug nuts on her car and the combined efforts of the high school football team were having no effect on getting them loosened.

Of course, a high school football team has nothing on Archimedes, who is noted as saying, “Give me a flat tire and a lug wrench long enough, and I’ll get your nuts loosened.” Or something like that. So after a brief and ineffective attempt at loosening the lug nuts with my own lug wrench (wrong size hex) and a socket wrench (right size hex, but at 12” too short to get any torque on the nuts), I made a quick trip to Home Depot and got a three foot long length of 3/4” schedule 40 pipe, which was just large enough to fit around the end of my socket wrench handle and transform my mere caveman tool into the lug-wrench version of Mjöllnir, capable of easily providing 400 lb-feet of torque.

With the new improved wrench, each of the nuts came off with a satisfying sound of a thundercrack (they were on there but good), and I got to post that I’d totally busted a nut on my friends car on Twitter.

So, fellas, if at any time you have trouble getting your nuts off, maybe you should consider using a bigger tool.

Squeamish about needles, or the amazing thing that is blood?...

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:50:05 -0600

Squeamish about needles, or the amazing thing that is blood? Then you should probably skip this video of me getting tapped and having my sap run out.

Shutter Island

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:11:44 -0600

Back in 2004 I went to a booksigning with Dennis Lehane and got my copes of Mystic River and Shutter Island signed. Clint Eastwood’s film version of Mystic River was in post-production, Shutter Island had just been published, and during the Q&A period Lehane was asked why he’d chosen to change from modern detective fiction to something with a more historical bent.

“One thing to know,” Lehane suggested, “is that novels are never about the periods in which they are set, but rather about the periods in which they are written.”

He also mentioned that the rights to Shutter Island had been optioned, and it looked as if Wolfgang Peterson (Das Boot, Air Force One, ~~Trojan Man~~Troy) was set to direct.

I read the book in a day, and found it entertaining, but slight—I was probably too absorbed by the plot and the pacing to have given much though to Lehane’s “periods in which they are written” statement, but having watched the movie today, one can see where it’s possibly a metaphor for the war on terrorism, and specifically our penchant for finding bogeymen everywhere we look (more so in 2002-2003, when the book was written).

The film, like the book on which it is based, is entertaining, if flawed. There may not be enough there to put it together, but viewed under the subtext of what the author claimed the book was “about,” there’s another shade of interestingness there, and certain speeches, when viewed through that lens, become slightly more poignant. So give that some thought if and when you check it out.

Aw look! An iPhone Plants vs. Zombies Easter egg!

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 12:35:45 -0600

Aw look! An iPhone Plants vs. Zombies Easter egg!

Thinking of maybe catching a movie this afternoon.

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 11:59:27 -0600

Thinking of maybe catching a movie this afternoon.

Wake Up Morrissey (via scarygoround) J-Money’s gonna be...

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 09:09:35 -0600

Wake Up Morrissey (via scarygoround)

J-Money’s gonna be upset.

"How would you describe yourself in three words? I have been called abrasive, intimidating, and..."

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 08:50:42 -0600

“How would you describe yourself in three words? I have been called abrasive, intimidating, and stiff, but it you want something sexy, it’s thoughtful, versatile, and wicked.”

- We’ve got the hots for you: | Cover Feature | Memphis Flyer

So. This happened.

Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Taken A Week Ago And Published...

Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:22:59 -0600

Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Taken A Week Ago And Published Today In The Local Alternative Weekly Wednesday.

"The Chatterbox crew (and its surprisingly enormous cast) also bring a fair amount of original..."

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:51:58 -0600

“The Chatterbox crew (and its surprisingly enormous cast) also bring a fair amount of original material to life. As weak writing tends to be the Achilles’ heel of so much podcast radio drama — hell, of so much radio drama, period — it pleases your Podthinker to report that, here, it’s pretty sound. (No pun intended.) Though the events of “King Me” [MP3], one of those games of repeated table-turning deception, are fairly standard, they’re well-rendered. Even better are the slightly more experimental ventures, like the same author’s Fearless-like “The Separate Self” [MP3], which break from the dramatic forms you’d see on a physical stage to get creative with perspective-shifting setups only possible on radio.”

- Maximum Fun | Home of The Sound of Young America, Jordan Jesse Go, and things that are awesome.

Hey, look! A nice shout-out for the audio theater podcast that sometimes lets me do animal noises!

daniellei: atsween: “It’s fun to say Allosaurus with a...

Sun, 07 Feb 2010 09:36:27 -0600

daniellei:

atsween:

“It’s fun to say Allosaurus with a Cockney accent.”

- Me on Twitter

SEE?!

Could you also do recordings of the word “Birmingham” and “Buckingham”?

I can also use them in a sentence! Perhaps everyone should record themselves saying “Allosaurus” and someone do a dance mix.

(I couldn’t figure out how to reblog and add my own audio file. We could create amazing piecemeal conversations if we could do that, though.)

Today is sleety. I went for a nearly three-hour walk. (via...

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:42:11 -0600

Today is sleety. I went for a nearly three-hour walk. (via fancycwabs)

Trying something new:

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:53:55 -0600

There had been a posting on the local theatrical callboard for “Caucasian guys, aged late thirties to early forties” for a Public Service Announcement, and I thought to myself, “Why I am am a man from Caucasia! And I am also in my late thirties to early forties! Why not give it a shot?” So I called the number and left a message.

They called back while I was at work (with no cell reception), and were the first people to call after I’d set up my iPhone to go straight to Google Voice instead of the standard voicemail, so I got an email with a transcription of their call before I heard the actual message, and Google Voice’s transcription is still just a li’l bit wonky, but they do a good job with numbers, so I managed to call back and make an appointment for an audition. Which was yesterday.

I showed up at the studio, filled out the form and issued a set of sides for the commercial, had a quick headshot taken (I was wearing this, which I would have taken to calling my “Brad Pitt ensemble” based on how my students described me in it but may relabel—read on to discover why), and escorted back to the green room (which had an awesome vintage pinball machine) to study lines and get all nervous. Several other men from Caucasia were similarly escorted back to the room, including the fellow who played Sweeney Todd when we did that show over a year ago, so we had a few moments of catching up before I was called to do my bit for the camera.

I walked into the chilly room with an overhead boom mic in front of a plain white backdrop and a fixed camera rig positioned at about waist level, with cue card set below it (whew!) and rehearsed the bit a couple of times before we filmed two takes of it.

I don’t know if I’m at liberty to say what the PSA is for, but I’ve done a bit of research into it, and I will divulge the following facts about the program:

It involves a Republican Governor using federal stimulus money that he’d previously hinted he might reject.
The way were instructed to read the name of the program sounds makes it sound like a Microsoft product, but I’m pretty sure we were supposed to say the name of the state involved. The number of S’s involved in the program’s name, especially in one fo the lines, made this a tongue-twister par excellence after three or four times through, until they told me to change how I was saying it.
Program money cannot be used to hire strippers.

The PSA itself involved my playing a guy at a gas pump, discussing a few benefits and details of the program, and giving out a phone number for more information at the end. Nothing too taxing, but I was told that I moved my head too much for camera work, so I tried to tone that down before we actually recorded the bit. They told me that I had a pretty good look on camera, and that I resembled an “older Ashton Kutcher,” which adds one more name to the long, long list of celebrity lookalikes I’ve acquired (for those keeping score at home: Dennis Quaid, Tom Hanks, Jim Carrey, Tom Cruise, Dylan Walsh, Tom Green (!), and, as previously mentioned, Brad Pitt). Beyond concentrating on not moving my head, the most difficult bit was making sure I didn’t hold the prop gas pump right in front of my junk.

I’m pretty sure that would have been bad.

I did my two takes, was told I’d done a fine job (I’d asked them to be gentle, as it was my first time—so they may have been being nice about it), headed back to the green room to wish Sweeney a good audition (and to let him know there was definitely a cue card), and headed out. I don’t necessarily expect to hear anything, but it would definitely be cool if I did.

I don’t know if they’ll look kindly on my ad-libbing “this money cannot be used to hire strippers,” though.

nickdouglas: indefensible: merlin: JasPer, Mad, and I just...

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 11:03:00 -0600

nickdouglas:

indefensible:

merlin:

JasPer, Mad, and I just broke the news to Anna.

This —this — is what we do to onions here.

“According to Aboriginal lore…”

Fixed the “it’s”.

Thanks, Nick. That was driving me crazy.

Things I should have gotten correct on the Jeopardy test, but couldn't pull out of my brain in under fifteen seconds:

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:14:22 -0600

* The architect in The Fountainhead is loosely based on Frank Lloyd Wright (I’ve never read it, but should have been able to guess this).

* Polonius’ son in Hamlet is Laertes (I KNEW this one, but had a brain fart).

I DID manage to come up with both Justin Timberlake and The Lost Symbol without too much hesitation, and a few more-obscure answers as well, so it probably makes up for it. 50 questions in 12.5 minutes is a pretty breakneck pace, if you’re just taking the test for kicks. I’m sure there are folks who cram and prepare and practice practice practice for these things, but I’m not sure I’m cut out for sober trivia anymore.

Rock Rulz! Think Good Eats, only with music instead of food....

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:13:00 -0600

Rock Rulz! Think Good Eats, only with music instead of food. I’m sure they owe some kind of debt to The Show with Ze Frank, too.

I have my creative writing classes writing their resumes, so...

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:44:05 -0600

I have my creative writing classes writing their resumes, so that I’ll have taught them at least ONE useful thing this year. On one of them I came across this…club.

Was anyone else in the “Pretty Girls Chest Club” in school? Why was I unaware of it before today?

YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAA!

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 12:28:11 -0600

YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAA!