Like most other substances that are made more for shelf-life than for flavor (I’m lookin’ at you, Zingers), ranch dressing tastes like chemicals. Fortunately, it’s stupid easy to make your own:
Take
- 3 cloves of garlic
- 1 teaspoon salt
Mash them together into a paste with the back of a fork on a cutting board or a saucer or a bowl if you don’t want to get a saucer dirty. To this, add
- 1 cup of buttermilk (don’t keep buttermilk hanging around? use one cup of milk and one tablespoon lemon juice. Don’t keep lemons hanging around? Use vinegar.)
- 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
- 1 green onion, chopped fine. Or a tablespoon of chives. Or a tablespoon of normal onion. Or a good shake of onion powder.
Stir. There. Ranch dressing. If it’s too thin for your tastes, you can thicken it up with mayonnaise or yogurt or sour cream.
